I’m sure everyone already knows that Ray Allen will be playing for the Miami Heat next season. I’m sure there are numerous reasons why he had made this decision other than just wanting to retire with a championship ring. Maybe the Heat gave him an offer he could not refuse. In the contract he was guaranteed:

• blowjobs from Lebron James after every game
•  100 gram protein ostrich eggs from Bosh
•  free subscriptions to Brazzers, AOL,  Spotify
• a zoo pass

And to top it all off, since Ray Allen is an alien, he needs the extreme Heat for mating season. Miami not only has extreme Heat, but there are sloots all over the place for for Ray Allen to destroy. Who in there right mind would decline such an offer? Personally, I would have signed with the Heat  just for the free Brazzers subscription. You can’t be mad at Ray Allen for signing such an amazing contract. Ray Allen and the Miami heat are going to run town on any opponent that stands before them. If this isn’t a dream team then I don’t know what is.