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If you are really posting an advertisement for beard-help, I think you need help for your head. Beards are stupid. Mustaches are for smug deuce-bags. Clean shaven is the way to go. Nothing says responsibility and class like a clean shaven face. Its a proven scientific fact that clean-shaven men are more successful. I know a lot of our readers are from New England and this one is gonna hurt, but lets compare the Yankees to the Red Sox. The Yankees are not allowed to have facial hair except for mustaches. (mustaches still suck. See Jason Giambi’s Yankees stats.) The Red Sox have no rules. They can grow their facial hair out (and also apparently drink beer and eat fried chicken during games). Hate to say it, but facts are facts. The Yanks have won the World Series 27 times and the Sox have won 7 times. Clean shaven is the way to go. Unless you are an ironic hipster, look like a normal fucking person and shave your face. We aren’t cavemen anymore.
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I think the problem is that you still have a mind set of New York. All 49 other states tend to disagree with the stupidity that emerges from New York. Chicks love scruff. Deal with and and learn to accept it. The fact that you are incapable of growing a solid, sexy, scruff beard is not the fault of the rest of America. New York needs a reality check.