Dozens of Dead Birds Fall from the Sky

Source: Residents in a Cumberland County, N.J., community were left wondering what caused dozens of birds to drop dead from the sky earlier this week. Residents along Peach Drive in Millville found at least 80 dead birds — mostly red-winged blackbirds — on the ground, having fallen from trees and the sky. “Crazy — something out of a movie,” said resident Michelle Cavalieri, who saw the birds fall. The birds caused a bloody mess on roadways in the residential neighborhood.

Apparently the Jersey Shore cast was able to Gym, Tan, and do their laundry, but forgot to shower and douche their vaginas. Dozens of birds came too close to the infectious genitalia of the Jersey Shore cast and dropped dead. This was due to the extreme odor or a potential air born virus that could be erupting out of the casts’ pants. It is safe to say that out of the entire cast,  Snooki was the largest contributor to the death of so many innocent birds. Her vagina has been pumped with so much semen (both human and animal) that to this very day, semen still oozes out and probably has not been cleaned in many years. There could be new diseases located in Snooki’s vagina that had caused the death of over a dozen birds. We learned earlier this week about the dead crabs that fell out of her vagina. Studies need to be conducted to see if this new genital virus has air born potential or if the odor of her vagina is too overwhelming for so many birds.  I knew Jersey smelled god awful, but now I know why.

P.S. I feel bad for that poor, poor baby that has to crawl out of the unsanitary snatch of Snooki.