Category Archives: Viral City
Videos and miscellaneous happenings.
Burnasty’s
Let’s talk about it. As a freshman, I am quite familiar with Sir Robert Burnett and his gross, inexpensive beverages. It’s seems legit. It seems like the real deal. Eight dollars for a 750?? That could last an average college student half a weekend, if not a whole weekend. For one bottle, that’s a pretty good deal. However, there are consequences to consider such as 1) increased chance of vomiting and 2) a painful ass hangover tomorrow. As one of the only freshman writers at RhodyView, I realize this circumstance would only apply to me but let’s pretend: it’s Friday (today!!), you want to get to get drunk but the only alcohol you could possibly buy is Burnett’s. What do you do?
I REALLY Hate Self Taken Photos
I have always hated people who take self-photos on Facebook but recently I have noticed something even more annoying about them. Why the fuck do you think you can justify taking a stupid selfie with a description like “Selfie, to celebrate the snow day” or “New day, New me”? Those descriptions are useless titles that do not justify a single reason to upload a new selfie every 5 minutes. We know what you fucking look like, you are an attention seeking whore bag. Those dumb ass titles do not for any reason justify the attention seeking waste of Facebook space. Here are other examples of dumb ass reasons I have seen:
- “Selfie Sunday”
- “:)”
- “Time for class Selfie”
- “First day of work Selfie”
- “SWAG”
These are just a few examples of how people try to justify looking like a duck allover Facebook or taking useless selfie’s. For the sake of humanity, stop looking for the attention and actually interact with people in person for once instead of dwelling on your Facebook “friends” liking all of your shit.
P.S. You might as well title your selfies to say “Here is another fucking picture of what I look like with the same facial expression, please like it so I can get a self-esteem boost and stop worrying about my pitiful existence of a life”
Things I Will Never Understand: Online Dating
I’ve heard both sides of the argument. I have friends who have done it, but no matter what they tell me, I could never do it.
PROS
- meet a lot people in a short amount of time
- meet people you would ordinarily never just run in to
- skip over the people who seem uninteresting (and unattractive)
CONS
- cost. As if dating wasn’t expensive enough, you gotta pay for the dating website
- get catfished. Whether its to the extent of making up a fake girlfriend or just lying about age, weight, interests, etc, you can never really know how truthful the other person is being.
- lack of human, face-to-face, interaction. May not seem like a big deal in the beginning to some, but first impressions are crucial. You can’t skip over that.
I could keep laundry-listing reasons why online dating doesn’t work, but I won’t, because that’s boring. Here’s what I think. Online dating is a cool tool. I think if you are looking for a shallow, hook-up/one night stand sort of a deal, Tinder can be great. But if you expect to be in an exclusive relationship without ever meeting the other party, you are nuts. Seriously, you’re crazy and should be thrown in a mental institution. Why would you hold yourself back from experiencing the real pleasures (and pains) of real relationships? As nice as Skype is (if your girlfriend/boyfriend is real), it doesn’t replace a good blowjob.
PS: That MTV Catfish TV show guy is apparently coming to URI
If You’re Gonna Get F*cked Up, Don’t Be an A**hole About It
Drunk Douche
Driving drunk is definitely not the smartest thing to do, nor the safest. But, if you’re going to do it, don’t be a fuckin’ douche about it. At least learn to gage yourself into a parking spot that’s head on before it drops into a ditch. I can honestly say that a blind cat could have parked that car better than this guy did. I mean if there was any clue of possibly not being able to get your car back out of the parking space, it would have been the bumper at the end of the spot. That part that you should be in front of… not over, or in this case see-sawed on top of…
When you wonder whether there’s hope for humanity out there, there usually is. But, if you’re gonna look for it, don’t start with this person. They’ll just mess up your day. Or at least your ability to park properly.
Man Swallowed by Sinkhole!
Source - SEFFNER, Florida (Reuters) - Florida rescue workers have ended their efforts to recover the body of a man who disappeared into a sinkhole that swallowed his bedroom while he slept in a suburban Tampa home, and the house will be demolished, a public safety official said on Saturday.
Yesterday a man in Florida was swallowed by a sinkhole that opened up UNDER HIS BEDROOM. This story is fucking unreal. Apparently the sinkhole took him and everything in his bedroom, and though they tried to find him, they’ve given up searching for him. All I’m sayin’ is I’m glad we’re in Rhode Island and our ground is basically made of rocks, so shit like this could never happen. Come to Rhody. We have basements.
Broke College Kids
It didn’t take long for the reality of being a broke college student to set in. Even if you work a part time job, somehow most people end up short by the end of the week. There are always days when you’re too scared to check your bank account balance, maybe because of an drunk decision to buy everyone you know an IZone. So I was trying to think of the best, most effortless ways to make money real quick and this is what I came up with:
- Find somewhere to sell your blood platelets. This is a real thing. You can go to some kind of medical facility where they pump you for your blood platelets. I’m pretty sure they give you like $30 every time and you can do it twice a week.
- If you’re a girl, wear some underwear for a few days and then sell it on eBay. The creeps will buy it.
- Learn how to break into vending machines. Free snacks AND mad money in quarters.
- Find a nice sugar daddy on Craigslist.
- Last but not least, become a stripper like Frustrated blogger.
I hope I helped you gather some cash to pick up the bottle or sack you’re fiending for. Sloot OUT.
Guys You’ll Meet In College
Chacha recently wrote an article about the 10 guys you’ll meet in college and, being in college, it is the dumbest thing I have ever read. The personalities they provide are:
- The Bro
- The Slacker
- The Hipster
- The Professional
- The Meathead
- The Stoner (please check this one out, holy shit)
- The Nerd
- The Foreigner
- The Prankster
Do you guys know these people? Because I sure don’t. I’d like to think we’re all a combination of a few of these personalities.
