Category Archives: What Would You Rather Wednesdays
What would you rather? Take your pick!
1. NCAA Championship
2. Have your favorite performer perform live at the Ryan Center
Would you rather have URI win a NCAA tournament during your college experience or have your favorite performer perform live at the Ryan Center?
Option 1: We win a NCAA tournament championship at URI. If you have any pride in this school this would be the easy choice. Championships such as these do not come around often, especially at URI. You would be a part of history in the making. You would be able to tell your kids and your grand kids and if you are lucky, your grand grand kids that you knew the team that won it all. After URI wins the NCAA trophy, you can give all of your friends at home shit for going to a school that just isn’t as athletically superior as URI. If you have school spirit then NCAA trophy is the choice for you.
Option 2: Have your favorite performer come to the Ryan Center. Pretty much if you don’t give a shit about this school and you would rather see Lil’ Wayne or Drake attempt to rap on stage, this choice is for you. There are students that would rather see the one artist they idolize show up to URI instead of seeing one of our sports teams win the NCAA trophy. Being able to get those VIP or front and center tickets with the hopes of sucking the cock of the artist is a lot of sloots dreams. There is nothing URI sloots would want more then to hang with the one artist they idolize and possibly fuck.
For the rest of you life you need to either give up ordering food or coffee from Dunkin Donuts or give up using a mirror for the rest of your life. There are two things to consider with URI.
1. URI is 80% Jersey sluts or bros who cannot go a day without using a mirror. It takes them at least 45 minutes a day in front of the mirror to get their hair and make up done or for the Jersey bros to gel their hair, put in their earrings, or check out the muscle structure they wish they had. The fact is that most of URI cannot go a single day without a mirror, thanks to New Jersey.
2. If you are from New England, chances are you love Dunkin Donuts. Starbucks is the ass hole of New England when it comes to coffee. Having a Dunkin Coffee every morning makes your day 100x better and during the cold winter and fall season, nothing is more satisfying then a Dunkin Coffee or hot chocolate. Dunkin Donuts is also everywhere, you cannot drive anywhere without seeing a Dunkin Donuts or walk anywhere without the aroma of coffee overwhelming your nostrils.
If I had to give up one, I would give up the mirror. Unlike the Jersey bros, I do not need to gel my hair every morning or compliment on the muscles I wish I had. The fact is, I am a man, I have muscles and I take 5 minutes to get ready and I am pretty sure I can shave without a mirror. There is not a necessity for a mirror in my life but Dunkin Donuts coffee is one thing I can’t live without.
Okay so if you had to have a permanent accent, would you rather talk like Austin Powers or William Wallace?
I think this one is a no-brainer. Austin Powers’ game is a proven success. He gets so many ladies with his accent that it isn’t fair to the rest of the world. Plus (spoiler alert) I don’t wanna die young! So Yeah, baby! I’m taking Austin Powers!
What Would You Rather Wednesdays asks: would you rather cut off your dominant hand or moo like a cow every hour, on the hour for all hours you are awake?
First of all its not like cutting off your hand is an easy task. You have to be the one to do it. You have to be the one to cut through all of that nastiness. You gotta have the stomach to do it. Not having my right hand would suck. I couldn’t play baseball or start a round of applause. On the plus side, at least because I’m a righty, I could still wear a watch. I’m a watch guy and I don’t know if I could live without one. (watches MUST be worn on the left wrist)
Mooing like a cow puts a huge damper on your social life. Nobody wants to hang around the guy who’s always mooing. This also affects work. If you worked in a cubical in a quiet office, things could get awkward quickly. On the plus side, you will always know when 5:00 is; so you can get out of work. Knowing what time it is isn’t the worst thing in the world.
I’m cutting off my hand. Mooing is just too ridiculous. I’d rather be stumpy than Moo like a cow.
What would you rather? Give up all social networking AND texting or be forced to adopt an angry rabid ferret, which you need to walk everyday for 20 minutes?
This is a tough call. I’m pretty much on Facebook all day and I find a ton of my blogging content on Facebook. I also must be sending out like 10,000 texts per month. Giving up texting would not be easy. At the same time, an angry rabid ferret could bite you and infect you with rabies at any moment. And if you have to leash it and walk it (yeah, don’t forget about leash laws) you could be risking your life every time you walk it.
After long thought and consideration, I have decided to keep the angry rabid ferret. I think I would have to tranquilize it, then attach a muzzle on its mouth so it wouldn’t bite anyone. Plus once you get over the anger issues and the foaming of the mouth, it can be kinda cute. Total chick magnet. Plus now that I’m allowed to use social networking, I can instagram the shit out of it.
What Would You Rather Wednesday: Be Stuck in an Elevator with a PETA Activist or a Wild Turkey on Meth?
1. Wild Turkey on Meth: You are stuck inside a broken down elevator and inside that elevator is a wild turkey that has taken meth. Who knows how bad this could get? The turkey can either attack you, consistently run into the walls, or fall over and die, and just lay there. Either way it’s a huge risk to your safety, but at the same time it could be wicked funny to see how a turkey reacts to meth.
2. PETA Activist: Next to terrorists, PETA has to be one of the worst organizations on the planet. They fall in love with and care for animals more than they do for actual human beings. They are probably into beastiality too. They try to brainwash you with their stupid videos compiled with rare events and they will throw blood on you if you are eating a cheeseburger. They go to extremes for the animals that I love to eat every day. Being stuck in an elevator with someone from PETA might lead to insanity or me beating the shit out of the activist. Either way you are probably going to be annoyed as fuck or end up in jail for the night.
I personally would rather be stuck in an elevator with a wild turkey on meth because I know for sure that I would end up beating the shit out of the PETA activist and find myself in a lot of trouble for assault. A wild turkey on meth would be golden video footage and if it tried to attack me for RhodyView. I would just kick it or something if it attacked. They don’t scare me. I never want to interact with a PETA member in my life because I know it will not end well for anyone.
P.S. Can someone please prank call and order 100 meat-lovers pizzas for the PETA headquarters?
Both options are only in your head, you will see them but it will only be paranoia:
Would you rather be surrounded by sharks every time you are in a pool or at the beach?
Would you rather be surrounded by snakes every time you step foot on a plane?
I honestly would be shitting my pants either way. My two biggest fears are creatures swimming under me in a body of water and snakes, I am petrified of snakes. Based on how little I fly anywhere I would have to go with snakes on a plane though. I am at the beach or in a pool more often per year then I am flying. I guess I will be that one guy on the plane freaking out because in my head I see a shit ton of black mambas and anacondas slithering around. They would probably have to land the plane and kick me off because of all the girly noises I would be making. I enjoy swimming a lot and if I saw a shark surrounding me I would probably have a heart attack and drown on sight. Which would you rather?