Blog Archives
Fight Night Friday: Rabid Gorilla vs. URI Football Team
1. Rabid gorilla
2. URI football team
Who would win in a fight between the URI football team and a rabid gorilla?
In one corner you have a 600 pound gorilla that recently got diagnosed with rabies. In other words, he can fuck your shit up. Gorillas have the strength of a dozen men, and with rabies added to the scenario they have absolutely zero fucks left in their jungle to give. They will run you down, rip you in half, then teabag you while eating a banana. A rabid gorilla has to be one of the most terrifying thoughts one could imagine. You run into a rabid gorilla and you are guaranteed to be shredded apart.
In the other corner you have the entire URI football team. A total combined weight of roughly 20,000 pounds and greatly out number the gorilla. What you have to realize is that the URI football team is 99% retard strength. They have ridiculous strength to make up for the lack of intelligence and the amount of Butterfield hard boiled eggs that they consume on a daily basis (including the shells).
In my opinion, I have to give this victory to the rabid gorilla. Even though the URI football team greatly out numbers the gorilla, they are on a losing streak and can barely win a game of football. They lack the teamwork and the dedication to claim a victory. The gorilla would not give a fuck about how many URI football players there are. He would run through them and throw them through the field goals.
Fight Night Fridays: Chad Johnson vs Chris Brown
vs
Today’s special is wife beaters AKA scum of the earth. Any guy who hits a girl should go to jail and have to fight someone who has 100 pounds on him. Having said that, Chad Johnson is an athlete. He’s outrun race horses, kicked fieldgoals, and created some of the most controversial touchdown celebrations of all time.In the other corner, Chris Brown is a musical genius. He’s got a sexy voice and can serenade just about anyone. He is also in terrific shape. I would not want to fuck with either of these guys.
I’m gonna go with Chad Johnson though. I think that he’s faster and more versatile than Chris. Either choice would be reasonable. Who ya got?
Fight Night Fridays: Rhody Joes vs The Mews
VS 
Oh boy do we have a showdown tonight! In one corner, we have Rhody Joes Saloon, a classic sports bar and grill. In the other we have The Mews Tavern, a multi-floor restaurant and bar, home to 69 beers.
Specials
Wednesday nights are all about Rhody Joes. They have house music blasting and cheap drinks coming. Mondays are wing-nights. You can’t go wrong with their 25c wings. You also have specials whenever a Boston team is playing.
First Wednesdays of the month belong to The Mews Tavern for Pint Night. You buy their brew of the night and get to keep the glass. Not a bad deal if you ask me. The restaurant is pretty good too. Off the top of my head, I don’t know if they have any regular food specials.
My pick
This is a really hard one. Both establishments make for a terrific evening. I’m going to have to go with Rhody Joes though. I think their wait staff is friendlier. Their food is cheaper, and I find it easier to watch more than one game at a time there (this one is important if you want to watch the NBA playoffs and NHL playoffs on the same night).
Who ya got?
PS: It’s called “The Mews” for short. Not just “Mews”
