Blog Archives
This Can’t Be Safe
You can tell the traffic cones are really helping this situation. URI is blowin it on this one. Every time I walk by this shit behind the Union I hold my breath for fear of what this weird steam/smoke might be.
Silly URI
These new gates at the Ram’s Den are a joke. Just because we’re a state school doesn’t mean we’re too dumb to operate one-way gates. And besides, I doubt the students who work in the Ram’s Den give two fucks anyways.
The Union Express is a F*cking Tease
It seems that no matter how much you want to get your cookies from grandma at the Union Express, it will never be open. The Union Express does not give a fuck. They do not stick to the posted hours and just to rub it in your face, they will e-mail you telling you you have a package when they are, in fact, closed. Part of me wants to bang on the metal door and yell “I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE AND I WANT MY PACKAGE.”
Union Janitorial staff mean business
German monk Martin Luther also included the concept "courtesy flush" in his 'Ninety Five Theses' that reformed the world of shitting forever.
I decided that 8 o’clock in this morning seemed like a swell time to start taking pictures in bathroom stalls. On the top floor of the Memorial Union, I saw this bad-boy posted above a freshly cleaned bowl and of course, did my duty by desecrating it. I don’t think I’ve ever left a public washroom so completely satisfied.
I know that some gents may sprinkle when they tinkle. However, those gents are the ones who can’t manage to unfurl their cajones from their huevos before turning the spigot on their golden showers. Produce a nice, healthy and smooth stream for the Union janitors, boys.
I’m not sure why they didn’t also say, “Lift the seat before you piss, you spoiled brat. Love, the people who are not your mothers.”
