Blog Archives

URI Senior Week Seems Okay…

…if you are into drinking, the beach, drinking, partying, drinking, and having an awesome time. Seriously, what a better way to finish up at URI than senior week? Go out with a bang! Now I know its early to start talking about being done (and its a little scary too), but tickets are actually on sale already. Frustrated Blogger and I are going to fucking kill it! Class 2013 all the way! Freshmen- hold mah dick!!

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Is Dunkin Donuts Making Fun of URI With This Penguin Sign?

PS: check out ThatBloggingSloot’s blog about the notorious penguin walk email, if you haven’t read it already

Are Cranberries the Worst Thing Ever?

I think so! Cranberries fucking suck. I go to Butt this morning to get what looks like a delicious slice of coffee cake with chocolate chips. It looks fluffy. It looks fresh. This is going to be the best breakfast ever…Then I take a bite. Do I get a flavorgasm of coffee cake and sweet chocolate? No! I get the taste of Big Foot’s dick. Fucking cranberries! Not sweet chocolate. Literally the most sour/bitter cranberries on this planet. Fuck cranberries. Get out of my breakfast. Freedom from cranberries. Freedom for America!

Bob Dylan is Coming to the Ryan Center

If you went to see Lupe Fiasco, but are skipping Bob Dylan you may be one of the worst people on this planet. I actually cannot fathom how this show will not sell out. Bob Dylan is one of the greatest artists of all time. If you aren’t down with Bob Dylan you need to go play in traffic.

 

Umbrellas at URI

So I’ll be honest and leave this disclaimer…I’m still frustrated that I can’t find my umbrella. I looked all this morning, and I realized that I must have left it at home…

Anyways, I’ll start by saying that I have nothing against umbrellas. If you have something to protect yourself against the elements, go for it (except for ski masks and ponchos. God I hate ponchos). But some people are so fucking ridiculous. They walk down the sidewalk of the quad and push you off the path with these giant umbrellas. I mean these things are massive. Some of them must be at least five feet in diameter. Overcompensating much, bro?

MFK Mondays: Hope, Butterfield, Ram’s Den

MFK Mondays are back! This week’s contest is between the three major dining halls/cafeterias at URI. Let’s go through the options

Hope-Pasta and stir fry stations are always a solid go-to! Burgers taste worse than Big Foot’s dick. Homestyle is hit or miss. Tracy doesn’t grill sandwiches anymore so I don’t even bother getting hot sandwiches anymore. Hope omelets on a Sunday can cure any hangover. Hell, they could probably cure polio or small pox.

Butt- Easily the nicest staff on campus. Betty may be the nicest person in the history of earth. Pizza and omelets are nice. Tacos are about as good as Jim Baron was last year.  Ice cream is always a plus.

Ram’s Den- The only place on campus to get Chinese food. If it’s not General Tsao’s, it’s not worth it. Yeah you can get pizza, but its terrible. Burgers are nothing special. Sandwiches contain no meat and will stick to the wrapping.

The easiest choice is to kill off Ram’s Den. They are slow and the food tastes awful. After eating Ram’s Den you feel ready to audition for Alien.

Next, I think I have to marry Butterfield. I know this probably isn’t the most popular choice, but I fucking love ice cream. The dinners are pretty good. You can’t ever go wrong with an omelet or pizza there. Consistent quality.

So, that leaves me to fuck with Hope. Hope is just too hit or miss. Homestyle can be great or they can overcook, dry everything out, and cover it in spice. They also have a terrible habit of reusing desserts. Hope can be good, but its not a life long relationship.

PS: One of the first blogs on this site before it went public was about where to take a girl on a first date on campus!

URI Harlem Shake Wasn’t Bad…

…it was fucking terrible! The video came out yesterday, only about two weeks since the Harlem Shake was done and over with. Now, if you’re gonna have Rhody The Ram in it and use the official URI logo, please don’t make our school like a bunch of squids. There were like 30 kids in that video. If you’re gonna make the video, go big or go home. The Mackal Field House is so huge that it made the effort look embarrassing. I wonder if the person who uploaded the video even watched it before putting it online. I’m not even a huge fan of the Harlem Shake and I know that it was done wrong. You’re supposed to have ONE camera angle throughout. Also, just to nit-pick because I hate the video, it was 2 seconds too long. Fucking embarrassing. What a bunch of squids.

PS: I didn’t even want to blog this, but nothing else is that exciting at URI right now. And there’s no way I’m doing any more blogs about the fucking weather!

Anyone Else Notice Hope’s Menu on Valentines Day?

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Sounds delicious…

Why is The Harlem Shake Still a Thing?

So I’ve received like five invites on Facebook to do a URI Harlem Shake. People, The Harlem Shake was funny once, but its done. Doing a Harlem Shake a week after it went viral is just about as funny as creating a “Call Me Maybe” remix or a “Gangnam Style” remix. It’s over. It’s not funny.

NBD, Just URI Basketball on Sports Center Top 10

Best home game of the year. Amazing play and finish by all the Rams.

PS: If you weren’t at the game, then you also missed this:

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