Blog Archives
Chimp Escapes From Las Vegas 2.0. Did I Mention it was the Same Monkey as Last Time?
Source-Police say a chimpanzee who rampaged through a Las Vegas neighborhood last month made a second escape from her backyard enclosure. The Las Vegas Sun reports a resident called authorities about 4:50 p.m. Saturday to report CJ, the chimp, broke free from her cage. Las Vegas Metro Police captured her at around 5:30 p.m. after setting up a containment area and targeting her with tranquilizer darts.On July 12, CJ and her mate Buddy broke free and roamed through their owners’ neighborhood, pounding on vehicles and climbing in an unoccupied car. Buddy also jumped on cars.
This monkey has a problem. One night out and he’s addicted. I don’t blame him. The lights, food, drink, women…Vegas has a lot to offer. And it sure as hell beats a smelly cage at the zoo. This monkey is like your one friend who never goes out, but when they do, they always go way too hard. Monkey’s just trying to get it out of its system. Nothing wrong with a night out on the town once a month. No harm, no foul. Total overreaction by tranquilizing him. Should have breathalyzed the chimp instead.
Orangutan Exiled to help Quit Smoking
Source: An Indonesian orangutan with a penchant for cigarettes has been sent to an island in a lake within a Central Java zoo to help her quit the habit, a zoo chief said Thursday.
People would throw cigarettes at this orangutan and it had learned how to smoke them and became addicted. First off, where the fuck were the zookeepers when this was happening? Those people should have been thrown in the cage with the orangutan for giving it cigarettes. If you are going to throw something at the orangutan to smoke, at least throw it a joint, damn ape probably needs a nice fat, juicy J to help her relax with all of the people throwing shit at her. This orangutan should have the freedom to smoke what she wants where ever she wants, its not her fault dipshits got her addicted. Why don’t we just exile people that are addicted also, I don’t want my tax payers money going into their treatment, exile seems like a viable option to cure people of their habits. Smoking is a disgusting habit, the biggest turn off from any girl. I don’t care if you are a smokeshow, cigarette breath is disgusting and I do not want to be sticking my tongue or my dick anywhere you smoke. On a good note at least this orangutan is happy on her brand new private island with her boyfriend.
P.S. If this orangutan was America, she would most likely be covered with Obamacare and all of our hard working money would be put towards treating any illnesses that might develop.
